How To Heal PTSD

So, we’re at the end of our first month of the BRIDGE THE GAP healing process. How’s it going? Post a comment, shoot me an email; let me know how you’re doing.

I’m proud of you for taking these first steps and making it this far! You deserve a break. Kick back, relax. Congratulate yourself for learning how to:

1 - craft your healing intention

2 - define what you want

3 - make the commitment to heal

4 - banish doubt

5 - get in touch with your courage

6 – understand your fear

7 – boost your belief in healing

8 - support the healing process
With the completion of this month’s work you’ve formed a solid foundation on which to build the rest of your healing journey. When we begin to work on Healing PTSD Resolution No. 2 (on Saturday) you’ll be cracking the statistic of that 89% of people who give up on their New Years resolutions by the end of January. You will be in the top 11% of people who get things done; an elite club indeed. So….

Bravo! Well done! I salute you. I applaud you. I honor you and your desire to heal. I support your decision to keep on truckin’ and leave the past in the dust – exactly where it belongs.

(photo: Scandblue)

A couple of times I’ve mentioned the importance of the subconscious in the healing mix, plus the fact that ‘imagination is stronger than knowledge’. One way to put these ideas into practice is to begin what Wayne Dyer calls (in his book THE POWER OF INTENTION) ‘thinking from the end’. He says,

I’ve used this power of imagination over my will in the production of all my life’s work… This thinking from the end causes me to behave as if all that I’d like to create is already here. My credo: Imagine myself to be and I shall be, and it’s an image I keep with me at all times.

Think from the end: …. Assume within yourself the feeling of the wish being fulfilled, and keep this vision regardless of the obstacles that emerge.

Part of healing is retraining the brain to see ourselves as other than survivors; to see ourselves as healthy, well and PTSD-free. To encourage the subconscious mind to let go of the PTSD identity it has so lavishly developed (and to replace that image with the new, healed and healthy you) we must actively discover, determine and decide who that newly whole self will be. Here’s a simple exercise you can do to imagine, visualize and commit to your future, PTSD-free self:

Settle into a comfortable position either sitting up or lying down. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in through your nose – hold them, and then slowly release through your mouth.

When your mind and body have settled, slowly begin imagining what you will look like and who you will be when you are PTSD-free. This means consider your hair, your eyes, your skin, your weight, your clothes and your smile. Imagine the sound of your laugh and the lightness in your voice. Imagine the friend, colleague, lover, and family member you will be when your energies are not sapped by memory. Think BIG! Who do you wish you would have become if trauma had not gotten in the way?

The healing journey you are on is your chance to start over. It is your chance to deliberately decide, create, and build the new YOU. The more specific you get in your imagination the more powerful this image will be in your subconscious mind.

Take all the time you need to deliberately draw the picture of the future you. When you finish this visualization and feel you can see it clearly, hold it in your mind’s eye for at least one long moment. Then, slowly let it recede. Allow yourself to become aware of the room around you, the sounds, the smells, and the presence of the outside world. When you are ready, open your eyes and resume your day.

Tip: It will help you crystallize this visualization to write it down. Take a few moments to write out a whole description, or jot some notes about the main characteristics. As you look this over, you might recognize ideas you would like to add. Note them, too, and focus on them in your next visualization session.

The beauty of this exercises is that it can be done at any time of day or night, as often as you want. When you get used to the process, you can do this during a train commute, an airline flight, or even waiting for a meeting in a practitioner’s office. After a week or two of very deliberate planning, you will have completely designed an image of your future self. While you can always use a short visualization session to update it, you can now move into a new phase of thinking from the end: putting it in your daily thoughts. While you’re walking around, doing the laundry, driving to class – any time you’ve got a few minutes to spare conjure the future you. Get familiar with him or her. Become friends. Welcome him or her into your imagination and allow the image to grow. You’re the artist here, sculpt your new yourself!

(photo: rnolan1087)

We’re almost at the end of our month-long work to craft a healing intention, focus it, and find ways to support it. But no examination of this process would be complete without the mention of one of the main reasons your commitment could lack staying power. It has to do with a little thing called, DOUBT. Here are 5 ways to fight the foe….

1 – Be aware when doubt comes calling. In participating in and taking responsibility for our recovery it’s important to act on both the internal and external world. Healing begins and finds its source internally, so the majority of what we do lies in this realm – including hearing what we think. We spend a lot of time listening to friends, colleagues, family, etc. talk about what they think – how much time do you spend listening to your own thoughts? In PTSD we don’t listen so much as hear the constant white noise of fear and anxiety. But beneath that, there lie other ideas, especially when we begin to heal. Some of the most destructive thoughts are, “I can’t heal,” “Recovery won’t happen for me,” “I can’t do it,” etc. When you listen to the chatter in your head you become aware of all of the doubtful thoughts you carry around all day – and you can begin to eliminate them. When you hear these thoughts you must: a) stop the thought, cancel it, and replace it with a positive idea, b) deliberately shift your attention to something else.

2 – Develop a meditation practice. The more we are in tune with our inner peace the more grounded and full of faith in ourselves we become. Meditation does not have to be a lengthy process. A simple rejuvenating meditation like this one can be all you need to break the doubt continuum. Remember, 97% of what we do every day is from habit; if doubting has become a habit of yours you will need to replace it with a more positive habit. Meditation can do this by severing the doubtful thought and refocusing your mind on feelings of peace and control.

3 – Lather, rinse, repeat. The hair care industry has hit on a very simple (very Zen, really) method for cleansing: Slather yourself in the good stuff; wash it off; do it again. Healing is like this, too. You can’t craft your intention and then – that’s it. The intention must be used, often, to cleanse your mind. You took the time to work it out, design it and put it on paper. Now, carry it like a talisman and when you feel even the slightest creep of doubt do one of two things. A) Repeat your intention over and over until the doubt crawls back from whence it came. Do this silently to yourself, or, if you’re alone, say it out loud! Say it strongly with passion and conviction. Give it air. Let it breathe and come alive. My mother always tells me, “The mind knows only what you tell it” – so, tell it you intend to recover! B) If you’re on the go and need a quick fix, repeat the word “Intention” over and over. This will cue your subconscious and on its own it will make the connection between this single word and the intention you have built.

4 – Put your feet on the floor! Don’t be surprised to realize that doubt is anxiety in another form. That good ole ego voice (whose power is threatened by your healing) will whisper doubt night and day in an attempt to maintain its supremacy; even more so when you make any kind of progress. Don’t let it win! Instead, when you feel anxiety or doubt try this: Sit on the edge of a straight-backed chair. Straighten up your back so that it is upright and straight-spined. Place both feet on the floor parallel to each other and approximately a comfortable foot apart. Now, place your hands, palm down, on each knee. That’s it! It’s that simple. This posture grounds your inner self in a position of strength and power. And the beauty of this exercise: it can be done in a crowd of people, in the middle of a meeting, in a doctor’s office, at the family dinner table – no one will notice; it is silent, and completely private. You can hold the pose as long as it takes for the anxiety/doubt to subside. My trauma therapist taught me this and while I was skeptical at first I began to use it and found that, hey, he was right: it helps!

5 – When you doubt, shout it out. Last week I talked about the benefit of having a partner along the healing process. Here’s a perfect example of when that buddy can be helpful. Like other infectious things, doubt can’t survive in the outside world. Get it out of yourself. Telling your healing partner/coach/buddy about the doubt you feel brings it out of the dark and into the light where you can see how small it is, how powerless it is; how much bigger and more powerful you are. And also, in through conversation you can hear another voice – that of a trusted friend – assure you that this doubt does not belong on your road to recovery.

Wayne Dyer says this on the topic: “By banishing doubt and trusting your intuitive feelings, you clear a space for the power of intention…”

Meaning: When you banish doubt you clear the space for the POWER OF YOU, which is inherent, supreme and limitless. You just have to, er, have the opposite of doubt: FAITH – in yourself, in the healing process; in the ultimate ability you harbor to become PTSD-free.

(photo: Linz photograpy)

It’s one thing to walk around thinking you want to heal, and telling yourself and your loved ones that you do. But it’s another thing entirely to commit to what it takes to be healed. In order to support your healing intention you must make the commitment to act. In order to support that commitment it helps to have some structure in place. Today, 6 things you can do to solidify your commitment:

1 – Carefully define your healing goal. I really do love Nick Best’s ‘Believe You Will Succeed’ outline for achieving a goal. If you haven’t taken a look at it yet, find some time to work it through. Healing is just like any other goal: it helps to have a definitive plan. Also, it’s important to assess what would get in the way of that plan – and then get rid of those things! Nick’s outline is a step-by-step guide to planning your entire healing journey, both in terms of your time and your mind.

2 – Create a timeline. Let’s be serious, healing isn’t something that happens over night. After struggling to heal for so long, I finally gave myself one last year: By my 40th birthday I wanted to be free of this stuff. (I made it, just under the wire!) Choose a timeframe that works for you. Give yourself a lot of room – but not too much! One or two years of the really hard, deep work should set you up for great results. Choose a big event, or some quiet date to work toward. Get your subconscious into the game by developing the idea that you will be PTSD-free by that point. When we begin to imagine we begin to heal. If we see the end and know where we’re going, that helps us chart our course and our minds shape the idea of success.

3 – Prioritize your healing process. The whole idea of healing can seem overwhelming. Don’t let yourself get distracted by this! Break down the phases so that the journey is manageable. Make a list of the top five healing acts you want to try, and then approach them one by one. My list looked like this: a) educate myself about PTSD, b) develop the ability to tell the story, c) reach out to other survivors, d) construct my post-trauma identity, e) find a hypnotherapist.

4 – Set a schedule. When you know your ultimate timeframe it’s easier to break down time into increments, and from there to break down the healing process into manageable chunks. We can’t do everything all at once, so set yourself a schedule that will guide your way. Give yourself a task each month, each week, or even each day. Developing a healing habit is important; setting a schedule ensures you find time for all aspects of this important journey.

5 – Buddy up! As PTSD experiencers we’ve been isolated long enough. For your healing journey, get a partner to support you along your quest. This can be anyone, but it should be someone you feel you can trust, and who will honestly help you maintain your commitment. (Mine was my mother because she was endlessly supportive, unfailingly resourceful, empathetic, compassionate and never got frustrated or angry no matter how many times I banged my head against the wall!) Tell this partner your plan. Share with them the timeline, your priorities, and the schedule. It helps to be able to talk these things out. Things sound differently in the spoken word than in our mind, and hearing things aloud can bring us to new thoughts, ideas and understanding. Plus, your buddy may have helpful ideas. Knowing that someone is standing beside us and expects us to follow through with our plans gives us even more motivation to do so.

6 – Reward yourself. Remember when you were a kid and you were given a gold star for good behavior or a good math or spelling test? Newsflash: Your grown up self likes to be rewarded, too. For every step in your healing process, reward yourself for the achievement. Make a list of some things you want to do for yourself. This may be as simple as a day alone, away from your responsibilities. Or, it can be the purchase of some item you’ve been putting off. Healing is tough work; when we reach milestones we should give ourselves something special. When we know we’re working toward a gratification, we’re more committed and motivated to succeed.

One more thought, just for good measure: Give yourself some room. While it’s important to plan, commit, act, and follow through, it’s also important not to become militant, rigid, obsessed or fanatical. Healing should be a return to grace, a recapturing of living life in flow and ease. If we force the healing process into a narrow chute and try to stuff ourselves through it there’s no way we can achieve the ultimate goal. There will be pitfalls and setbacks. Don’t beat yourself up over them! The surest way to kill your commitment is to feel abused by it. Healing is like the ebb and flow of the tide; it has a rhythm. Know that you’re on the path to wellness and have faith in yourself that you will get there.

(photo: Isaac B2)

Healing PTSD: Courage, Baby, Courage

Getting back to Mark Twain, let’s take a look at the role of courage in the commitment mix. It’s easier to remain committed when we feel strongly supported in our actions by a deep resolve within.

But where does that resolve come from? Sometimes our introduction to our own courage comes from an external source, like it did for me. But in our healing journey we can’t depend on anything outside of ourselves to support us or to give us “a quality of spirit that enables [us] to face danger or pain without showing fear”. If we have an external source of courage, that’s great. But lacking that, we must create our own source.

Take a minute to think about where your courage comes from. We all have it, that quiet reserve of strength that, like the good set of china, we keep tucked away for a special occasion. Well, kids, healing PTSD is that special occasion. It’s time to dust off that courage, take it out, set it on the table, polish it up and prepare to allow its beautiful presence to infuse your ordinary day with extraordinary beauty.

If you can’t pinpoint the source of your courage – no problem! Map its source right now. Think back to times in your life when you felt courageous. What made you feel the swell of courage then? Make a list of elements, characteristics, traits, actions, and emotions surrounding that memory. Set a timer for 5 minutes. List as many qualities as you can until the time runs out. Then, read over the list. Which examples do you value most? Congratulations! These are all part of you. We hold an endless reservoir of courage in ourselves. It does not get used up. If you accessed courage once, you can do it again. Take a long look at the list you just made; this is who you are. That you don’t feel this way in the moment is irrelevant. This is your potential. You were this once; you can be again. Walk around today reminding yourself of the things on the list. Say to yourself, ‘I am ____________”. In this BRIDGE THE GAP rediscovery process it’s important for you to recognize the strength you do inherently possess. And then to begin to exude it. Life’s daily challenges give us plenty of opportunities to flex the muscle of the qualities that support, enhance or signal the presence of courage. Find them in each day. Practice your connection to your courage. Make locating and utilizing it as simple as a habit and it will support you in all the things you set your mind to do.

Don’t have any memories that showcase your courageous self? No sweat. Take a look around. Who do you know (or know of) that exhibits courage? Think of real life stories of those around you; think of characters in books you’ve read or movies you’ve seen. Think of celebrities, journalists, people in the public eye. Choose a figure who embodies courage as you perceive it. Now, take some time to make a list of the courageous qualities that person exhibits. What are they? When you clearly see what qualities you admire you can begin to adopt them yourself. Each day you will bump into opportunities to develop a quiet strength, an outspoken energy, a dogged pursuit of what’s right despite the cost to yourself – whatever makes up the definition of courage to you. Look for these chances to call up your courage from within. When we get in the habit of connecting with this part of ourselves on a small scale it’s easier to engage it during those times we really need it, like, say, turning our back on the past and bravely marching into an uncharted future.

To give you added inspiration – words of courage from sources who know something about it:

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you’re scared to death. ~Harold Wilson

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says… I’ll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher-Hershey

Courage is simply the willingness to be afraid and act anyway. ~Robert Anthony

Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it. ~Tori Amos

Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm. ~Winston Churchill
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Courage is not defined by those who fought and did not fall, but by those who fought, fell and rose again. ~Anonymous

Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing. ~Anonymous

True courage is not the absence of fear — but the willingness to proceed in spite of it. ~Anonymous

(photo: elvy)